“If I don’t get into a game soon, I’ll set the bullpen on
fire.”
Armstrong’s 1983 Topps was not part of the baseball card
collection I amassed during my childhood. In fact, the first time I came across
an image of this card on the Internet, I actually thought it was a fake card
with the face of Milton Waddams from the movie Office Space superimposed over
the real Mike Armstrong.
“Don’t be mistaken, Dennis Eckersley wasn’t pointing to show
up the hitter he just struck out. He was actually letting everyone know he
found Waldo in the seventh row behind home plate.”
“A true ‘In Action’ shot of Luzinski would have been taken
at an ‘all you can eat’ buffet table.”
“When the Seattle Mariners released Gorman Thomas in June
1986, three clubs expressed interest in the veteran slugger—the Milwaukee
Brewers, the California Angels, and the Hell’s Angels.”
“When you’re an outfielder who bats .240 with no power,
you’ve got to be able to bring something else to the team besides your ability
to play baseball.”
“Mike Scioscia’s teammates were fed up with his disgusting
personal habits but didn’t want to confront him face-to-face so they started
leaving anonymous notes in his catcher’s mask. This particular one said,
‘Courtesy flush, please.’”
“Coach...I don’t wanna work on my slider today. Bro, I just
wanna listen to Bob Marley and surf.”
This card is a good example of you can’t judge a person by
one picture. Seminara may look like beach bum surfer dude when in actuality he
is one of the few players who attended the prestigious Ivy League college
Columbia University.
“Fed up with his young pitching staff’s ineffectiveness,
old-school minded manager Dick Williams decided to force the game’s losing
pitcher to wear the torn, unwashed ‘Jersey of Shame’ and embarrassingly reenact
the game by tossing an imaginary baseball.”
“Every time ‘We Are the Champions’ played on the PA system,
Randy McCament got that nervous look on his face that people might realize he
was actually Freddie Mercury in disguise.”
“The 1987 Baltimore Orioles made history as the first team
to have a father manage his two sons as Cal Ripken Sr. skippered the club with
second baseman Billy and shortstop Cal Jr. forming the keystone combo.
Unfortunately, Baltimore finished next-to-last in the AL East, going
67-95—averaging just 22.333 wins per Ripken. If only the O’s has signed Tito
and Jermaine Ripken, they surely would have won 100-plus games and dominated
the AL East.”
“Are you taking me out, Skipper?”
—“You R. Wright!”
Thirty-six year old Texas Rangers manager Bobby Valentine
may have brought a young, fresh perspective to the team but his sense of humor
was pretty stale.
“Well damn...if the Expos had just paid to have Chris
Nabholz’s mother come to every start, they’d have won several World
Championships and would still be in Montreal.”
 |
| Chris Nabholz loves his mama |
----by John Tuberty
Follow my blog on the Twitter @BloggerTubbs
Sources: Baseball Reference
Additional Cards Used:
Chris Nabholz 1991 Fleer
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from the Funny Baseball Cards and Silly Captions Series:
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