Monday, August 3, 2020

Funny Baseball Cards and Silly Captions, Volume 6


“If I don’t get into a game soon, I’ll set the bullpen on fire.”
Armstrong’s 1983 Topps was not part of the baseball card collection I amassed during my childhood. In fact, the first time I came across an image of this card on the Internet, I actually thought it was a fake card with the face of Milton Waddams from the movie Office Space superimposed over the real Mike Armstrong.



“Don’t be mistaken, Dennis Eckersley wasn’t pointing to show up the hitter he just struck out. He was actually letting everyone know he found Waldo in the seventh row behind home plate.”



“A true ‘In Action’ shot of Luzinski would have been taken at an ‘all you can eat’ buffet table.”



“When the Seattle Mariners released Gorman Thomas in June 1986, three clubs expressed interest in the veteran slugger—the Milwaukee Brewers, the California Angels, and the Hell’s Angels.”



“When you’re an outfielder who bats .240 with no power, you’ve got to be able to bring something else to the team besides your ability to play baseball.”



“Mike Scioscia’s teammates were fed up with his disgusting personal habits but didn’t want to confront him face-to-face so they started leaving anonymous notes in his catcher’s mask. This particular one said, ‘Courtesy flush, please.’”



“Coach...I don’t wanna work on my slider today. Bro, I just wanna listen to Bob Marley and surf.”
This card is a good example of you can’t judge a person by one picture. Seminara may look like beach bum surfer dude when in actuality he is one of the few players who attended the prestigious Ivy League college Columbia University.



“Fed up with his young pitching staff’s ineffectiveness, old-school minded manager Dick Williams decided to force the game’s losing pitcher to wear the torn, unwashed ‘Jersey of Shame’ and embarrassingly reenact the game by tossing an imaginary baseball.”



“Every time ‘We Are the Champions’ played on the PA system, Randy McCament got that nervous look on his face that people might realize he was actually Freddie Mercury in disguise.”



“The 1987 Baltimore Orioles made history as the first team to have a father manage his two sons as Cal Ripken Sr. skippered the club with second baseman Billy and shortstop Cal Jr. forming the keystone combo. Unfortunately, Baltimore finished next-to-last in the AL East, going 67-95—averaging just 22.333 wins per Ripken. If only the O’s has signed Tito and Jermaine Ripken, they surely would have won 100-plus games and dominated the AL East.”



“Are you taking me out, Skipper?”
—“You R. Wright!”
Thirty-six year old Texas Rangers manager Bobby Valentine may have brought a young, fresh perspective to the team but his sense of humor was pretty stale.



“Well damn...if the Expos had just paid to have Chris Nabholz’s mother come to every start, they’d have won several World Championships and would still be in Montreal.”


Chris Nabholz loves his mama


----by John Tuberty

Follow my blog on the Twitter @BloggerTubbs

Sources:  Baseball Reference

Additional Cards Used:  Chris Nabholz 1991 Fleer

More Articles from the Funny Baseball Cards and Silly Captions Series:

Other (More Serious) Articles by Tubbs Baseball Blog:



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