This volume’s theme is for the 2019 Hall of Fame induction and includes cards of new and existing Hall of Famers
“After seeing this Eddie Murray card, Tim Burton got the idea for Eddie Cartoonhands which he eventually turned into Edward Scissorhands.”
“Lance Bass didn’t need to try and pay the Russians to get him up in space, all he needed was one good swing from Houston Astros slugger Jeff Bagwell.”
“I can’t make up my mind whether it’s worse that Bobby Grich drew just 2.6% of the vote in his sole appearance on the Hall of Fame ballot or that Donruss positioned their card so it looks like he’s crapping out the California Angels logo.”
“In the late 80s a lot of hitters were victims of “Niekrophilia”, that’s when a 147-year old pitcher strikes you out with a 42-mile per hour knuckleball.”
“You don’t think I belong in the Hall of Fame. Ok, well what’s your career WAR, egghead?”
“Chipper Jones’ heart was torn in June 1990: should he sign with the Atlanta Braves who drafted him with the 1st overall pick of the Amateur Draft or should he change his name to Parker and join his Abercrombie & Fitch co-workers, Preston, Ryder, and Ethan to spell out and form the boy-band PREP.”
“You sure these pants aren’t too baggy?”
-“Nah, Buddy. You look ‘Saved by the Bell’ cool.”
Abercrombie & Fitch Employee of the Month Chipper would say anything to make a sale—even to a fellow baseball prospect. Mariano ultimately got his revenge, beating Jones in both the 1996 and 1999 World Series and becoming the BBWAA’s first unanimous Hall of Fame selection.”
“If the 1998 home run chase is the symbol of the “Steroid Era,” than George Brett’s quest to hit .400 in 1980 was the symbol of the “Hemorrhoid Era.”
“A little known fact about Reggie’s unsuccessful assassination attempt on Queen Elizabeth II during his disastrous comeback with the 1988 California Angels is that it was actually not his first try at taking out the monarch. Turns out the slugger actually was supposed to take aim at the Queen during an Oakland Athletics home game that was part of the head of state’s itinerary for her 1975 visit to the Bay Area. Fortunately, the Queen had to cancel plans to attend the ball game due to an unfortunate heckling incident involving the Duke of Atholl and some crazed Oakland Raiders fans at the football game the day before.”
“Mr. Lasorda...I’m a huge fan...can I please have your auto—“
“—Hey pal, ya gonna eat the rest of that corn dog?!?”
Ladies and gentlemen, this card shows us that making positive changes in your lifestyle at whatever age is a wise decision. It’s been about three decades since Tom Lasorda went on his Slim Fast-fueled diet and transformed himself from being the Los Angeles Dodgers roly-poly manager to a much leaner and healthier version of himself. In a stark contrast from his 1987 card, Lasorda is pictured jogging with his players on his 1992 Topps. Lasorda, who turned 91 last September 22, is the oldest living Baseball Hall of Famer.
“Damn...they got a curse here too?”
After years playing for a Chicago Cubs franchise supposedly doomed by a billy goat, Lee Smith thought with his trade to the Boston Red Sox he wouldn’t have to worry about curses, hexes, and other superstitions.
“Somehow I doubt that Bryce Harper, Yasiel Puig or any of the “Let the Kids Play” Generation would have bat-flipped on either of these guys.”
Bob Gibson and Don Drysdale were two of the most intimidating pitchers in the history of the game. Gibson and Drysdale wouldn’t hesitate to brushback, knock down, or even throw at a hitter if their mood suited it. Sadly, Gibson was recently diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Let’s pray for a speedy recovery for the legendary Cardinals hurler.
----by John Tuberty
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